A blanket really makes the bed. Good thing too, because I never make the bed.


“Love has a shape, but no color. You’re probably wondering, “If it’s transparent…”

“I wash my hands before putting them in sanitation gloves.”

“She’s beautiful, but she’s also got brains. I’ll bet zombies would love to eat …”

“Anyone want some of my foot long sub? It’s huge! It’s nearly half as long as my…”