A book is a vacation for the mind. My books will take you inside my mind, so feel free to make yourself at home. Do as you please, but please don’t put your feet up on my hippocampus.

“If my chest grew cat hair, I wouldn’t know whether to pluck it or pet it.”

“A blanket could be used to lay down the law. Lay it down over there, on top of …”

“My business associate said, “OK, Jarod, let’s talk turkey.” And I said, “If you…”

“Don’t lift my words without permission. It might lead to a hernia.”