A brick could be used as a flashlight. What, still dark? Check the batteries, because they may be dead. 


“I was driving on the highway and saw an orange sign on the side of the road tha…”

“I prefer long-distance relationships. If we were dating, would you be offended …”

“A blanket could be used to save your marriage. But to be honest, I’d recommend …”

“Here is my naked body. Take a long look at what nobody else can look at. And hu…”