A brick could be used to crush grapes. If that sounds unnecessarily cruel, then I guess you wouldn’t like to pour you a glass of wine. It’s a shame, because I made it myself. 


“When I visit England, I want to bring back the best souvenir an American can ge…”

“When people change, I’m disappointed they’re not who I remember them being. And…”

“I need to hire a babysitter for Friday night. I also need to buy myself some ad…”

“One blanket, coupled with a fluffy pillow, could be implemented as a torture de…”