A brick could be used to help you keep your job. Just hold it down, man.


“I’m a poor worker. The quality of work I do is excellent, but I make no money.”

“A brick and a blanket walk into a bar. And I don’t drink, so I wasn’t around to…”

“I’ve got a life. I spend all my time dreaming of a new life.”

“To choose to chew, rather than converse with my fellow dinner guests, was the c…”