A brick could be used to smash my bottled up rage, and a blanket could be laid down beforehand to catch the shards. 


“A car is a couch with wheels. My windshield wipers don’t work, so I’ve decided …”

“You could say I lost my cool when I got heckled, but I wasn’t cool to begin wit…”

“I can be a better friend, lover, and humanitarian, but I can’t be a better eggr…”

“I wish the masses of people would all follow my advice, because I'd throw it of…”