A brick could replace your window, if your window’s opaque, and you throw the brick hard enough.


“I would answer the door for the pizza delivery guy wearing my birthday suit, bu…”

“I once went toe to toe with an international thumb war champion.”

“A tickle, an itch, and a scratch walk into a bar while I was in the corner drin…”

“I look like a million bucks, but I feel like shit. Thanks, inflation!”