A brick could used to translate and transform long cuneiform texts into shorter tweets. Sure, just take the brick and smash the clay tablets, and each broken fragment should be roughly 140 characters.

“I noticed you piss standing up, Dr. Kravenkrotch said.
How do you kn—oh, do I s…”

“I just took a shit that smelled like a dentist’s office. Open your mouth.”

“The first man to successfully clone himself deserves to pat himself on the back…”

“Escalators are the offspring of elevators and stairs. Love is the progeny of pa…”