A car’s gas tank should be see-through, so I don’t have to rely on a possibly faulty gauge to tell me it’s approaching empty. The human heart should also be see-through, so I can tell if you’ve really given me all your love.

“On the scale of tomato to ketchup, my girlfriend is definitely a 57.”

“Without even washing my hands I can tell whether I peed or not.”

“I’ve only been with my girlfriend for three days, but it feels like a lifetime—…”

“Be the cheeseburger you’ve always dreamed you could be. That’s the advice I’d g…”