A drunk can't follow a line of reasoning, even if it is a double white line.

“In the name of freedom and redistribution of wealth, I’ve decided to grow a bea…”

“It is with great sadness that I blow my nose.”

“I just bought an extra large mustache, to wear as a toupee.”

“If I knew what you’d do, exactly when you knew what you’d do, then I’d either b…”