A feather taped to a vibrator is a tickling machine to induce hunger, and NOT a sex toy. So you won’t have to ask if you see it in my fridge.

“I nearly ran him over after he ran out in front of my car. So I slammed on the …”

“I’ll write the time on my wrist, and I’ll cover it up by wearing a watch.”

“My mother-in-law scared the hell out of me. But it’s cool, because the stench o…”

“I am a superhero! I wear Spandex and I save things. I don’t save people, I save…”