A peaceful wave came over me, and I thought, Thank God I’m holding my breath.

“We made love like a slice of French toast trying to act like an English muffin.”

“Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.
”

“In the future, I’ll be furniture. Step on me now or sit on me later, but either…”

“I haven’t had a birthday party in a while, probably because I’m not really into…”