A priest, a politician, and a philosopher walk into a bar, and the bartender stabs one of them. Which one did he stab? (Hint: the shortest one.)

“He’s got the world’s softest knuckles. They’re like rubber the way they bounce …”

“I have women all over the world. In New York, London, Los Angeles. I think what…”

“Am I going crazy, or am I the only one who can hear the silence?”

“Ideas are like legs: what good are they if you can't run with them, or spread t…”