A real criminal mastermind isn’t known as a criminal mastermind, because how good can you be if you’re a known criminal? No, a real criminal mastermind is known by another name: politician.

“Some of the vitamins I take are the size of jumbo jets, though they only pack a…”

“I’m on the road, Butte is 58 miles away, and I’m driving 85 mph. So I should be…”

“To get a step up in the world, you could use a ladder, or you could use your co…”

“Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sa…”