A shiny metallic fridge is like a mini skyscraper. And the guy in my fridge, he’s like the janitor of the skyscraper. I hope nobody notices he’s missing when they show up to work tomorrow.

“I want to be able to convert sunlight to iron, because your body needs it to li…”

“A pastor, a politician, and a brick walk into a bar, and the bartender says, “S…”

“I sleep on the coasts of my bed, but I make love in the Midwest.”

“Half man, half woman, hermaphrodites are 100% love—self love.”