A smile is like a simile, if you have a mouth like a metaphor. That would make for like the best kiss ever.

“Selling something only to steal it back to sell again is not only dishonest, bu…”

“I ate a pound cake today, but I gained two.”

“I need a bone saw—for the meatloaf I made for you, which looks suspiciously lik…”

“The ultimate weapon is Lady Gaga’s music. Why kill the enemy when you can play …”