A telephone cord used to make an excellent leash on people. Now metal chains work better.

“My love is like one of those wooden Russian nesting dolls (matryoshka doll). I …”

“In my dream I was a seal, and I made love to a seagull. Then I got eaten by a s…”

“North, south, east, west, I need to find a nude erection to point the way.”

“If I promise you I'll show up fifteen minutes late, I'll always arrive on time.”