A whisper is the shadow of a shout, and I keep a few in my wallet to use at the strip club on rainy nights.

“If someone invited you to a flash mob, would you wear a bra?”

“My cat stood still like a furry statue. I wanted to go pet it, but I ended up p…”

“I make love like a lump of cold oatmeal. I apologize if that mental image excit…”

“Birthdays are like politicians. I don’t like any of them, but they still keep c…”