An octopus has eight legs. You know what else has eight legs? My bed last night. Oh, I didn’t have a foursome, but I did sleep with six prosthetic legs (I have a bad back).

“If I spent ten years in prison, I’d probably come to value the small things in …”

“You wouldn’t remove a wristwatch with a hacksaw, just like you wouldn’t remove …”

“They should make bubblegum that tastes like mashed potatoes. You know, for love…”

“In politics, I don’t know which came first, the rubber chicken policies, or the…”