As a balloon expands, so too does my love for you with each passing day. To know how I truly feel about you, look no further than the balloon giraffe.

“Men will tolerate what they are used to, even if it’s intolerance. That’s why I…”

“Two years ago I bought my brother’s slightly used iMac for five hundred bucks. …”

“I’d like to make the argument that The Cars were the first garage band.”

“It’s not: I jumped in, and it was cold. No. It was cold, and I jumped in. Alway…”