As an extreme method of saving, I’d kidnap myself, if I thought I’d actually pay the ransom money before I committed suicide.

“I said if I get her pregnant, I’d get to name our kid. She asked what I’d call …”

“I can read people like an open book, especially if their named Braille, and I’m…”

“A brick could be used as a sex toy. Well, I say sex toy, but the politician str…”

“It’s a fact that when it comes to dating, men are all visual. Well, except blin…”