As much as I would love to know what you know, I’d much rather eat your brain with a spoon.

“I’ll stab you with a pointy thingy. Not a sword, a knife, or even a mountaintop…”

“A brick could be used to foretell the future. But I’m the only one alive who kn…”

“Karate, I get a real kick out of it. I would get a kick out of coffee, but I’ve…”

“When a guy at the urinal says to me, "If you shake it more than twice, you're p…”