Ask my mustache anything you want, and my mouth will answer for it. And after the question and answer session, my right hand will be signing autographs on behalf of my ‘stache.

“Sometimes I ask God what I did to deserve her love. I maintain my innocence, an…”

“Every night I pray I whisper into a megaphone, not only so God is sure to hear,…”

“I don’t believe in the zodiac. Whenever anybody asks me what my sign is, I alwa…”

“A brick could be used in the same manner as a magician’s hat could be used as a…”