At my ten-year high school reunion, I was voted best looking. Of course, there were two people in my high school, and while I wasn’t the best looking, my brother was two years younger and therefore not in my graduating class.

“The three of us met to discuss dinner over sandwiches, and I decided I liked th…”

“I’m exercising my right to free speech, because it used to be obese. For years …”

“My dream as a boy was to write a coloring book, but the nagging problem was alw…”

“I’d like to assess all the asses on the beach. By hand. I should try to get a s…”