At the end of the first date, I got my courage up and I made a move. One U-Haul van and 1,500 miles later, I regretted my boldness.

“An ideal first date should involve things like a candle-lit dinner, soft music,…”

“Language is the proper way to communicate, followed closely by five balled up f…”

“I wish I could flush down my fears, but I can’t, because they’d clog up the toi…”

“I got my windshield replaced for no apparent reason. So now I have a new windsh…”