At the time of the murder, I had an airtight alibi: I spent the night in a Ziploc bag.

“Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sa…”

“A zebra has stripes, the American flag has stripes, and I have an erection. Coi…”

“The reason we talk with the same part of the body we eat with is because if we …”

“Give me a bouncy ball. I’ve got some ideas I want to throw at you. Put on your …”