Attorney ethics is a contradiction in terms, and its nonexistence is well documented.

“Success, if I simply gave it to you, you wouldn’t have the pleasure of taking i…”

“If you tell me I look familiar but you just can’t place it, I’ll tell you that …”

“My wife is younger. At one point, I was twice her age. Of course, I was six at …”

“Love is like a corn-dog popsicle, and I’m on the Most Wanted list. Unfortunatel…”