Back when I was a competitive swimmer, I used to dream of going to the Olympics. But then I changed my mind, once I found out how expensive the tickets are.

“I want to get married. But first I need to get a divorce.”

“I like sauce in my cereal. But not just any sauce, it has to be a cream sauce, …”

“Bio I never got around to using: Jarod is a best-selling author reader. He has …”

“I picked up the knife to cut the melon, and then smashed it with my fist instea…”