Before I sold used cars, I sold used horses. Mostly to glue factories.

“To keep my cat from drinking out of the toilet, I could close the toilet lid, I…”

“I couldn’t agree more. That doesn’t mean I agree. In fact, I completely disagre…”

“I should make a tongue condom shaped like an oven mitt, so my mouth’s spoken la…”

“The first guy who beats me up isn’t going to pay for it, but the second guy who…”