Before you enter politics, I pray you lose your anal virginity to a unicorn.

“I am a rebel! But I don’t want people to agree with my views, because if everyo…”

“When you are the designated buyer, ask for more money than the item costs, so w…”

“My bed’s as big as a medium-sized apartment in New York City. And my erection i…”

“Pineapple juice doesn’t come in a can—it comes in a hard, spiky shell called a …”