Boy, when Grandma Wrinklebottom comes to town, you’d better hide your underwear. I know I’ll be hiding my political perspectives.

“I went to Bath and Body Works this morning, because I really needed a shower. H…”

“I respect my elders, but I don’t respect the Myelders, who are my neighbors, be…”

“I could have murdered a man today, but by not doing so I saved his life, and th…”

“I made love in a HAZMAT suit. I think I contaminated the relationship.”