By that she means fully erect. Condom-ready.

“Only after disaster can we be resurrected. It's only after you've lost everythi…”

“To repeat, the way you get to the huge, impossible yes is, you start collecting…”

“I suppose it’s a comfort, perhaps a sense of self-control, doing worse damage t…”

“Or, I could just sit in the bushes and pump the hand pumpuntil the plumbing was…”