Cats have tongues with the texture of bricks, and fur as warm and soft as blankets.

“With my big 80s hair, my cut off jean shorts, and my roller skates, I’m going t…”

“If I remain silent, the proper response is, “You don’t say.”

“Before I sold used cars, I sold used horses. Mostly to glue factories.”

“I have nothing, so I think having something would mean everything to me. But I …”