Cheyenne is shyin’ away from me. Why, Oming? I love you like a herd of buffalo that’s gone the way of what Helen Keller heard.

“If I had a street named after me, I’d carry that around instead of a driver’s l…”

“Sharpies aren’t all that sharp. Not a great stabbing weapon.”

“I’ll name my town “Unwelcome,” and the sign will say, “Welcome to Unwelcome.”

“It’s hard to wear a Speedo and pose with an erection. Still, I’ve got to try, e…”