Crying about the economy is a strategy. It won’t get you a job, but it will keep Kleenex in business.

“My life motto: My brakes are broke, but luckily my gas pedal works just fine.
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“A blanket could be drenched in water, frozen, and then enjoyed like a giant cot…”

“As a writer, I need more exposure. I think I’ll take off my pants. Would you mi…”

“Sharks are so stupid. They swam right up to the boat, and they couldn’t even te…”