Dear cat, your ears are flipped inside out, so I know you’re not listening to a word I’m not saying.

“Whenever I schedule an appointment, my general rule of thumb is, tomorrow is be…”

“I found a note I wrote that said “Doctor’s Appointment Tomorrow.” Well, that no…”

“I’m like a walking maze. Follow me.”

“I’m such an alcoholic that I go to church just for communion.”