Do not stick your dick in your car’s exhaust pipe. Instead, fuck your neighbor’s motorcycle.

“I thought you were her because she wasn’t here yesterday and neither were you. …”

“One thought I think every person eventually thinks is, “Holy shit, I’m going to…”

“Boy, when Grandma Wrinklebottom comes to town, you’d better hide your underwear…”

“To me, the perfect date consists of dinner, dancing, and sex with a girl who ha…”