Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate while wearing boxing gloves? It gives a whole new meaning to “beating my meat.

“I find it hard to fold clothes. Especially if I’m wearing them.”

“I want to move to Hollywood and audition for parts just so I can say, “I’m not …”

“A karate black belt would make a great blindfold on a kidnap victim, after you …”

“The longest I have ever gone without sex is sixteen years. But to my credit, el…”