Don’t scream out my name in bed. Scream out random fractions instead.

“I am the washing machine of love. And if you have no idea what I mean, maybe it…”

“To keep my cat from drinking out of the toilet, I could close the toilet lid, I…”

“A blanket could be used to barter with. I could trade my blanket for your sex, …”

“Do I look like someone you know? Well you don’t know me, so why don’t you go bo…”