Don’t sell yourself short—sell yourself medium, because it’s taller. Did you know my love is refillable? For just .99 cents.

“I just broke up with my girlfriend. My wife will be pleased. But first she’ll b…”

“I’m a magician. I can make food appear—and out of my penis, no less.”

“A blanket could be used to line the walls of the Love Chamber, to soundproof it…”

“If love had an exact location, it would be the spot where silence meets noise. …”