Don’t show me how I messed up, because I don’t need to be shown. Clearly if I’ve messed up once, I can do it again without any coaching from you.

“Now that parking meters have shifted from quarters to credit cards, I worry som…”

“I don’t want to make love last, I want to make love second to last. The last th…”

“This is my own personal logo”

“If I had a funny thought and a runny nose, but only had one napkin and no paper…”