During conversation, I have no problem making eye contact—with myself in the mirror. Or with my clone, if he’s not rolling his eyes because he knows what I’m going to say.

“His name was Skip, but I didn’t. I waited patiently in line behind him. But do …”

“Being in the womb was like taking a nine-month bath. I wanted to take a shower,…”

“A brick could be used to help you become an Olympic swimmer. Tie the brick arou…”

“Mr. Shit gives politicians a good name. It’s the rest of the politicians who gi…”