Eating a plain bagel with no cream cheese is like eating the inner tube of a bicycle tire, and I’d rather ride my roller skates to work.

“I both made the knife-fighting team, and I got cut. If only love were so easy t…”

“Face to face marketing is like trying to dig a grave with a spoon. Kill it fast…”

“I ate a Danish. Better than eating someone from Finland.”

“I don’t deceive myself. No, I get my clones to do it for me.”