Eleven levitating leviathans couldn’t spell seven if you spotted them the Even and the S. They also couldn’t spell leopard if you spotted them all the spots. I once spotted a woman I once loved, but I did a spot-on impression of Helen Keller and acted like I didn’t see her.

“We all want to be the best at something. Trouble is, some people are only the b…”

“I collect things that collect dust. Like dust jackets. Despite no fingerprints …”

“An invisible wall of super condensed jelly would make a great shield to stop bu…”

“The book “Little Women,” what, is that about midgets? I freaking love midgets.”