Every night I cuddle with a blob of unbaked clay I fashioned in the shape of a woman. But that’s what being in love is all about.

“The last three inches of my penis shaft are perfect. Of course, the last three …”

“When I smell small, my nose gets clogged up. Think what would happen if I whiff…”

“I decided not to charge you with murder, because that would require me filling …”

“I stole her perfume out of her car, and in its place I left a loud fart.”