Excuse me, madam, but may I rub my erection up against your buttocks, because I mistakenly took Viagra thinking it was Vitamin C?

“I’m into extreme sports. Well, just one—cuddling.”

“A brick could be used as a patsy in a murder plot.
”

“I cleaned out my belly button last night, and I found the meaning of life. Gosh…”

“There’s nobody worth talking about, so let’s not talk about it. Only let’s do i…”