Faith: a device of the mind, fed by the soul, that functions like crutches to a man in a wheelchair.

“I just made some yawn pudding. Can I feed you some before bed?”

“A lot of people like wife swapping. I've got such a great wife I would only swa…”

“I’m so smart that I make everyone around me smarter. I do this by being dumber …”

“I ought to fire one of my two employees into the other one’s asshole.”