Five sicks people in the hospital (56). I made each one a “Get well soon” card saying I was sorry for coughing in their general direction on the 4th of November, and I hope that wasn’t a contributing factor for their illnesses.

“He was my distant cousin. Not only was he 50 miles away and 50 years away, but …”

“I’ve been giving my armpits mixed signals, may they come to know peace, prosper…”

“I have two problems with hard labor: hard and labor. I prefer soft, and I’d pre…”

“I enjoy reading books by way of subtitles from the movies they got made into.”