Fruit punch is better than a sucker punch—but quick, flex your abs.

“A brick could be used as a response when the cops ask you if you murdered your …”

“I wear my shirts backwards and inside out. It helps give my genitals more breat…”

“A blanket could be used to wipe away my tears. But it’d better be a blanket the…”

“I want to import what’s important, and export the trivial out of my life.”