Generally, competition is a good thing. But not when it’s between two nipples, specifically mine, over which one can suck the most.

“Falling in love too quickly spells disaster. But I’ve always lived dangerously,…”

“I once got attacked by a bearskin rug, two days before it was a rug.”

“I like to get to-go boxes at restaurants where not only did I not eat in, but a…”

“My ex girlfriend and I, we had chemistry together. And right after that, we had…”